Journal entries in 'Random Crap I Found On The Internet' for October, 2004

Jon Stewart is always pretty outspoken on the show about what he feels is the failing of "real" news to do the job entrusted to them, which is to report the facts to the people. He often makes little comments, especially during his interviews with the guests he has on the show, about how frustrated he is at seeing all the news organizations avoid making a big deal about some really alarming issues and events, instead focusing on irrelevant trivialities. Essentially, he feels they are just functioning as a tool of the respective parties, and in doing so are failing in their duty to the general public.

But the other day, he really took a big step out there to firmly make his point. He went on CNN's Crossfire as a guest, and apparently they expected a standard "pet on display" book promotion appearance, but he used the opportunity to attack and criticize them outright, saying they are hurting America.

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I discovered today that Nick Nolte has a blog and, true to form, it's often random and weird. But strangely enjoyable :) Actually, he calls it a diary, and says in its defense, I explained that I had picked up the diarist bug. He misunderstood me at first in a predictable way. Then he asked me if only women had diaries. The fact is: “journals” are for sissies. I calmly explained that Steinbeck and Hemingway both had diaries and that that was good enough for me.

According to this site, seven percent of Americans claim they never bathe at all. Hah! And people tried to make me out like I was a freak.

It's quite an entertaining page. The trivia there is much more contemporary than your typical "Coca-Cola used to be green" trivia page, and there's lots of stuff there I'd never heard before. But there's a few that I know to be true, and a few more that I've researched on the web, and all have turned out to be true. So it looks like the page is pretty trustworthy. Given that, here's some facts from the page that make me happy:

• Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears.
• David Bowie thinks he is being stalked by someone who is dressed like a giant pink rabbit. Bowie has noticed the fan at several recent concerts, but he became alarmed when he got on a plane and the bunny was on board.
• An average of 100 people choke to death on ball point pens each year.

Amazing, the things that people can find to die on.

I read today that American Airlines is now offering lifetime AAirpass® memberships for people who like to travel a lot. Well, you also have to be ridiculously rich; it costs $3 million.

So for just slightly more than the cost of a private jet that can take you anywhere you want, you can purchase the right to sit among strangers in someone else's jet and go anywhere you want. Alone. Once you get past the metal detector and the random security screenings. And assuming your flight isn't cancelled or delayed.

Of course, I guess it doesn't cost them anything if nobody buys one, so they probably figured, "Eh, what the hell, why not? There's plenty of stupid people out there. At least one of 'em has to have a few million bucks, don't they?"

For a while now I've been secretly enjoying the website of this Dan whom I cannot presume to label an impostor — if anything, I'm his impostor. But I figure I should share the wonder, so here's some recent entries I've particularly enjoyed.

Think back to when you were in college. (For some of you, it may not be very difficult). What do you do when you encounter a food product that has been a member of your household long enough that the memory of its acquisition has taken its place alongside the name of your first grade teacher among the mists of dubious recollection? If you're like me, you leave it there until it undergoes an alarming change of physical state.

But if you're an engineering student, you take a different tack.

A few weeks ago, I was experimenting with DanBot, giving it the full text of my postings here to work with, and seeing if I could get it to write its own posts that sounded somewhat coherent. I didn't work on it very long, and the results were unimpressive (I can post an example or two if desired).

But someone named boog did a much better job than I did. I Am Learn is a weblog written by a perl script, and surprisingly, it's actually surprisingly lucid and coherent sometimes.

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There's no real merit to this post other than to point you to an amusing entry by Geoffrey K. Pullum over at Language Log:

I stopped by the eye care center for a routine check of my ocular acuity, and although by the end of the session my pupils had been chemically dilated so things were looking a bit strange to me, I had enough clarity of vision to notice the title of a pamphlet in a rack near the reception desk:

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This is currently my favorite person in the world.