Journal entries in 'Random Crap I Found On The Internet' for September, 2004

Scientists are working on embedding sensors in rats' brains and strapping radio transmitters to their backs, and training them to seek out survivors in earthquake wreckage by their smell; the logic being that rats' sense of smell is better than that of a robotic sensor, and that they can reach places that dogs cannot. Cool. Then survivors just have to lay back and wait for help while COVERED WITH RATS.

When I was a kid, one movie I loved was The Last Starfighter, which, in a recent fit of nostalgia, I ordered from Amazon. How timely, then, that an interpretation of it, in Broadway Musical form, opens next month in NYC. I'm... not really sure how to feel. I don't think there's any way they could faithfully recreate the scene where Alex kicks the alien in the knee and it doubles over in pain, and Centauri explains, "not all creatures have their testicles in the same place," much less the scenes with the beta units.

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The cross will be over You personally! The Cross will be over every Nation on earth! Over Afghanistan! Saudi Arabia! Jerusalem! America! The cross in Space Satellite will be in a Polar orbit from pole to pole. As the earth turns it will pass over every inch of the earth like peeling an apple. The cross will circle the earth every one and a half hours. After launch we can tell you on our site when it will be over you and your nation. We have carried the cross in Every nation. Now we will, God willing have it flying above Every nation! We wave the cross in the face of Satan and proclaim that Jesus is Lord over All the Earth. All glory to God.

Very HIGH QUALITY preserved cancer tumors. I ate them. I know it was wrong.

You've probably seen this before. It's time for you to see it again.

BUUUURRRIIIIITOOOOOSSS!!!

An interview with Jhonen Vazquez (author of Invader Zim and other wonderfulness) and Rikki Simons (color designer for Zim and voice of Gir) that gives a great insight into what happens when Nickelodeon hires a talent they clearly knew nothing about, and then gives him a cartoon show. This reminds me that I have a whole lot of yet-unexperienced Zim I need to watch. I neeed Zim, or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes.

Apparently, the yellow skin and blue hair were not enough to indicate to some car company execs that the Simpsons is not, in fact, real. In a move amusingly reminiscent of the Canyonero (MP3) from The Simpsons, truck company Navistar has announced their upcoming CXT pickup truck, which is based on a cement truck, and gets between 6-10 miles per gallon of diesel fuel. You'd think this was a story from The Onion if not for the "cnn.com" starting off the URL. *shakes head in wonder*

Originally posted on MetaFilter:

Yesterday, Mazen al-Tomasi, a reporter for Al-Arabiya, was broadcasting live from the scene of a carbombed Bradley Fighting Vehicle, which had attracted a crowd of locals. While making his report, a sudden noise came from behind Mazen.

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Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter

The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humor, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday School.

It is a foregone conclusion that I must get this.

So, you've been carefully avoiding eating meat for years, in order to help reduce the number of animals that die for human gain? Well, there's others working towards the opposite goal, taking the first steps in developing carnivorous robots that eat flies and slugs for energy. Cool technology, and I guess in the quest to make robots more practical and capable, there is a general trend towards emulating the human body, which seems to work relatively well after hundreds of thousands of years of tiny incremental improvements. But if I was a living creature who finds myself being eaten, as much as I'd be opposed to the idea, I'd at least rather it be for the purpose of nourishing another animal than to provide power for some robot to take one more ponderous footstep.

Three years ago, NASA launched the Genesis probe into Earth orbit to collect solar particles. The plan was for it to return to Earth at about 25,000 mph, deploy its parachutes, and then be caught in midair by helicopter stunt pilots. A foolproof plan, you might think. Somehow, something managed to go wrong.

The reason for the risky plan was that This daring retrieval method will protect the samples and sensitive instruments during reentry. A crash landing, even at the capsule's relatively slow speed of 9 mph, could ruin some of the data collected during the mission. In the end, though, it landed at a less-than-gentle 194 mph. Scientists are still optimistic, saying there is still data they can get from the capsule, but I think that's mostly just making the best of what is basically a failed mission. I hope this doesn't affect NASA's already diminishing funding. But man, it had to be fun watching a 450 lb flying saucer thunk satisfyingly into the ground at 200mph.

...And by "sandwich", I mean "jet-powered flying person." I want one of these. It sounds like turbulence can present quite a hazard, which could be a buzzkill, but I just can't think of any more stylish way to get around at 110mph. It sounds like they really do plan on commercializing and marketing it. All they need to add to the product is the ability to take off from the ground and I will never be late to work again.