Seriously. I don't think you understand how enthusiastically my body clings to sleep. You know how the battle with AIDS is so difficult because it's a retrovirus that adapts to our every attempt to treat it? It's the same with waking me up. I'd like to delineate my current setup.

The waking devices are numbered chronologically, in order of their incorporation to the total Awakening Solution. Coincidentally, they are also numbered in order of increasing annoyance.

1. Polyphonic ringtone cell phone alarm. Nice and pleasant, right by my head. Completely useless. I never even remember hearing this anymore.
2. Shrill old beepy cell phone alarm, set 10 minutes after (1). Unpleasant, especially since it is set at its loudest setting. In addition, it has now been moved across the room, forcing me to get out of bed to shut it off.
3. Remote control for room lights. As long as I'm across the room, I may as well turn on the lights to make it harder to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, I sleep just fine with the lights on.
4. This is the latest addition: Remote control for air conditioner, set on timer to shut off the a/c 10 minutes after (2).

For now, the addition of (4) seems to have barely staved off the sleep. With effort, I can manage to convince myself to get out of bed. But I'm out of ideas. I don't know what I'll try next once I assimilate this new discomfort...